by Matt Adams-Wenger for the Argonaut

I don’t know if people have noticed yet, but Moscow is almost entirely populated by students and faculty from the university. The only other people are business owners and/or descendents of original settlers. As such, our humble town does much to make the average student feel comfortable, which, of course, means “to get drinks.” If you’re not shopping for home at one of our two liquor stores or getting beer and wine from the grocery store, then you’re drinking out. But why go to the trouble of arbitrarily picking a watering hole when I can help you make the best drinking decision possible? Here are my top five days and places to drink in Moscow.

5. Saturday — The Alehouse

I drink beer for the taste. I know some people drink it for other reasons, like wanting a belly-shaped shelf they can take with them everywhere they go. But, after the requisite period of thinking beer is gross (I didn’t drink until I was 21), now I love good beer, which is why I love the Alehouse. Besides Vandal Gold, which I assume they make to please the Bud drinkers of the world, each beer is so flavorful I could drink a pint each. (Probably not, actually.) And on Saturday pints are only $2.50. — get the weekend going.

4. Friday — Mikey’s Gyros

While, as I just said, I prefer good beer, and I can appreciate the cheapness of cheap beer. And even though I put Pabst Blue Ribbon at the bottom of the flavor ladder, right below Henry Weihhard’s, at least it’s on the ladder, as opposed to the other American lagers which are scattered all over the floor around the ladder. So if you want a brew, but you don’t want to pay much for it at all, then head over to Mikey’s for $1 PBRs.

3. Wednesday — La Casa Lopez

La Casa Lopez has the best Mexican food ever. To quote Ron Burgundy, “if you disagree with me, I will fight you.” And what is amazing Mexican food without amazing margaritas? They are spectacular at Casa, and if you go on Wednesdays they are two for one. I’ll confess, if I’m not in the right mood I can’t handle two in a row by myself, but I’m happy until the moment I’m not.

2. Monday — The Garden

I don’t know who decided to stigmatize most mixed drinks as “girly drinks” — probably the beer industry, but if “girly” means “good tasting,” then I guess I like girly drinks. On Blue Monday, you can pick any drink off of a huge menu of mixed drinks for a measly $2.50. And of course, you can enjoy it in The Garden’s newly smoke-free environment.

1. Tuesday — The Alehouse (again)

In case you didn’t know yet, on Tuesdays starting at 6 p.m. they make two of the microbrews at the Alehouse $1.50 apiece, with pitchers for $5. This lasts until the kegs they’re tapping have blown. Such is the beauty of Tap-a-Keg Tuesday. This is even more enjoyable during the summer, when the deck is open and you don ’t have to wait to get a seat, this is still the best way to spend a few bucks on beer in town. I literally didn’t miss a single one of these for about 12 months in a row. Oh, look, it’s Tuesday. See you there tonight.